I Can and I Wheel!

100, 99, 98…Welcome Back I heard her say. I woke from a 17 hour anesthesia induced slumber only to discover that life for me would never be the same.

Life changes in an instant, don’t blink! 

It was the week before my 34th birthday when I went into the operating room for a tethered cord release on my spinal cord. It had attached to a lipoma (fatty tissue tumor) along with several major nerves which was affecting my sciatica, causing me to fall a lot and it was creating intense unbearable pain. The doctor explained that I was at the stage where if I didn’t have the surgery, my spinal cord could sever itself and I would never walk again. So I went into surgery without hesitation.

100, 99, 98…Welcome Back, I heard her say. I woke from a 17 hour anesthesia induced slumber only to discover that life for me would never be the same.

When I woke from the surgery, I quickly realized I couldn’t feel my legs. So many thoughts, so many emotions, in an instant I blinked and so much had changed.

Two weeks after the surgery I was transferred to a local rehabilitation hospital and that’s where my new journey began. They introduced me to the therapy team and told me I would have therapy five hours a day. In my mind all I could think about was that I was a walking weakling, without a single muscle in my body just two weeks ago and now you want me to workout for five hours a day? Talk about adding insult to injury, Geesh! I didn’t know how in the world I was going to do it. I had to learn everything from this new level of living and there was not one ounce of me that knew anything about how to do it. It was at this moment that I had a choice to make; I could sit in self-pity, doubt and fear or I could find my brave and start climbing what felt like a mountain in front me, one step at a time.

My Husband, children and my niece that lived with me at the time came to visit me almost daily. They drove over an hour each way to come see me and encourage me. During one of our visits, I asked my niece  to make me a shirt that said “Climbing the Mountain One Step At A Time!” During that time the Keep Calm shirts were pretty popular too and she made me another one that said “Keep Calm and Stay Strong” too.

During the next visit my niece brought me the shirts and it was like the shirts gave me this whole new feeling of Brave! You see I had always been the one that was picked on in school because I was different, I wore a back brace and my shoe lift,  combined with my gimpy walk and now I’m using a wheelchair. My mind had me thinking that nobody was going to believe in me, they were going to just pity me and believe that I couldn’t do anything. I had a fire brewing inside of me, a determination like never before, there may be a mountain of change in front of me but nothing was going to stop me from doing what I did before. 

I have always been the type of person to put everyone in front of me, to help them without hesitation and not worry about me. This surgery made me have to focus on myself, which was all new to me. My new found determination and this fire that was spreading like a wildfire within the depths of my soul made each day like a new journey, a new goal, a new hill to get over to get me one step closer to that mountain top and I was (and still am) determined to never let anything stop me.  

Over the next several weeks a lot of family and friends came to visit. Each moment filled with encouragement, prayers, and positive memorable moments along the way.  I even made new friends in the rehab that I still keep in contact with to this day.

The therapy was intense and the days were so long but the fire inside of me just kept going strong. I learned how to sit up, to transfer and even how to get up from a fall but the biggest thing I learned truly was that the wheelchair wasn’t going to define me and deep down inside of me I really was strong. 

I don’t know how to describe it, that surgery didn’t just change my level of living, it changed me completely. It changed me into the best version of me. I know we are all a work in progress and that we can always improve but  I try to live each day to the fullest, and spread positivity wherever I go. I am who I am because of that day, and I’m only getting better in every way.  I am still living with the motto of “Climbing the Mountain, one step at a time!” and you will often hear me say “I Can and I Wheel, or Just roll with it” because no matter what Mountain is before me, I will always find a way! 

Life Changes in An Instant, don’t blink.